Simple Life

 I planted a native azalea and ferns in the backyard. A daughter helped. It will be years before we see the actual fruits of this labor and I am just practicing patience. I’m in my feelings lately.  Just learning to accept this life I’ve built. It is a simple life. I often think of this monk I listen to speak of the boring routine he began to love as he lived in the monastery. The routine can become boring. But with time and practice and prayer, I will continue to fall into a peaceful pattern. The reading, painting, writing and parenting keep me busy. I’ve become more mindful in my mornings. I remember yearning for this home life when I would be at my work desk wondering what the baby did in my absence. Now that I have it, can I be content? Truly I am, but I wonder if loneliness will ever leave me. I struggle with that. I remember I would be the most talkative in school. Now that I am around fewer people it does get lonely. I just realized I feel better when I chatter. So hopefully I will be content with my hobbies and children. And hopefully I can strengthen the community around me so I feel less alone. But the Quiet in my mind is space for God and myself, no one else. Within this quiet time I can listen to Earth movements. Within nature there is peace and I am surrounded by nature. This land around me is a gift. I must soothe the restless mind, quiet it with meditation and prayer. Laughter and fun also are important. It’s a simple life as I said. I wouldn’t change it. I just have to make peace with it. The mind can bring you down rabbit holes unnecessary and painful. Quieting the mind through practice is my goal.