Unladylike

 

Watching Unladylike2020 on American Masters PBS YouTube Channel.  Please check it out. 

I feel like I have to say this one thing. When I talk about reparations, resources, and common struggles of people of color, that doesn't mean I don't think that white people are any less than me or that white people aren't the MOST important part of the equality equation. If you know me, I'm not afraid to say what I want about what I want and I feel that makes me strong and an example for my children. Being gay in my life isn't a secret. I don't shout it out, but I've never hidden the fact I find women amazing and that I'm still Catholic and Jamaican and profoundly spiritual. I'm also quite unladylike. I made sure that I was a free woman in this lifetime and I stand by my freedom to speak, be loud, have an education, and live freely. I get to do that because I'm living my best life in America, a place where I can live the way I want. I will never take that for granted. But I'm also quite aware and continuously learning about American and World History I was never taught in school. I'm curious. I want to know. And I'm always looking for heroes that inspire and that I can teach my children about. But I know for a fact that I have critics. They may not be vocal on my blog. Or on Facebook. Or on Instagram. Or on Twitter. As a matter of fact, my audience is very silent besides the people who love me. But I see the numbers and I know I have an audience. And as a woman of color speaking my mind, all I can say is, I am blessed. But as an immigrant in America, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the sacrifice of millions of Indigenous, Black, Latino and Asian people. And I also wouldn't be educated if I didn't have white, Black, Latino and Asian people that taught me how to be me. I was blessed with fantastic science education and English education. I may sometimes put my foot in my mouth and make mistakes, but I honestly am doing my best and trying to share the culture that might not be readily available in mainstream media. But what I've found is that there are helpers out there who will point you in the right direction.  I'm so far from perfect, but I have a lot of love and I'm in a place where I can be free. Judge me if you want. Maybe my writing isn't up to your standards. Maybe my artwork looks juvenile to you. Maybe my poetry looks basic. Don't care. I'm a gift to myself and to others and I know that. What I've found is that I must live my most authentic self or I don't feel myself. I am constantly blending my spiritual self with ALL faiths. One doesn't suit me so I try to honor all of them. I belong to Earth and I'll do whatever I can to honor Her. I am Her humble servant. So that's me. I feel like I just have to say that because I am always speaking and I feel like there are people judging but not saying anything. And I'm quite aware of the understory, the Internet gods that see fit on making it "work" when they feel like it and deny you the ease of movement online when they see fit. The Understory is a thing you know. The Internet works because people make it work. They are still people though. And not gods. People. And I'm not afraid of those people, even when they throw ads up to get under my skin or glitch on something that might make me nervous. But I'm quite aware that somebody lays the lines of fiber optics, someone plugs in the servers, someone monitors, someone has input that I have no idea what they may be thinking or doing. All I can do is pray they will be objective and seamless. But after what happened in Myanmar, and in a hundred other places around this planet, sometimes the Internet gods know nothing of geopolitics and can go in and fuck it up pretty bad. That's why history is important. Knowledge and diplomacy are of the utmost importance. We have to ask ourselves about these algorithms. Are they fair? Are they kind? Are they truthful? These are my thoughts tonight. Okay, back to Unladylike2020. Watch it. Here's to not acting right and living your life authentically.